Being a night shift worker, means lack of sleep, constant tiredness, naps in the afternoon, feeling blah all the time...But I do what I do for a reason. I used to work 12 hour days, and I felt as if I missed so much of my kids lives. You leave for work before they get up, and get home when it is bedtime-so I made the choice to change to nights about 7 years ago. I didn't realize it has been that long, until just now. Wow. But, now the kids don't even realize that I am gone. I am gone when they are sleeping, and they have their daddy to take care of them. Works great. When I complain about my job, and working "at night, when normal people are sleeping", I just think about the ballgames that I haven't had to miss, the plays, the school programs, the class parties, picking the kids up if they are sick from school....Yes, I may be sleep deprived sometimes, but the blessing of getting to BE with my kids is worth it. Here are a few thoughts about my kiddo's-a little sentimental today...must be this weather....
Ian is so mature for his age. I see it. Everyone may not, because yes, he still is 11. He worries about me and James. He wants us to be proud of him. He cares what we think about his friends and girlfriends (I know, Ian-couldn't help it) He has a big group of friends, and he loves to hang out with them. They all get along better than any group of boys I have ever seen... He loves sports, and dreams of playing football professionally. He has struggled so hard with school over the past few years, and has finally "got it" this year. He loves middle school, and is doing better than he ever has in school. He is a young man. I love him so much.
Macey, my only girl...A little fiesty, loves to read, loves to talk, and has a little bit of drama going on in just about everything she does....=) She is a beautiful girl, who loves to read. I mean, more than anyone I know. She has a book in her hands at all times. Wal-mart, ball games, bed, car, everywhere. She even made the comment yesterday that she thinks she has read all of the books in the school library. That wouldn't surprise me. Macey is very independant. She doesn't have a lot of friends, a few good ones, but that is it. She dreams big. Always has. The reason for our 6 week trip to New York City coming up this summer. She has signed 2 modeling contracts, and we are Super excited about this trip. I am so proud of her. Growing up before my eyes. Love you Macey.
Cade is growing up so very fast. We were sitting in the den last night while he was working on his writing assignment. I love that. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I have a bookshelf full of journals that I filled up in middle and high school, of all of my thoughts and feelings....Reading through those sure is comical now...Anyway, just looking at his hand holding a pencil amazed me. Seems like only a few weeks ago, that he was a tiny little baby, and we all were wanting to hold him, and he carried his little "night, night" with him. Now, he is writing a story. Capitalization. Punctuation. Characters. Dialogue. He had a little check off list, and all of these things needed to be in his "story". I was impressed. He ceases to amaze me every day. I love this time in my life, where my kids need me, love us, and come to us for everything. I know that this won't last forever, but for now-I want to be content-with the blessings God has given me.
And even though sometimes my job doesn't seem like a blessing...I think God knows what we need as a family. He knows that I need to be here for my children. I am glad that God doesn't always give us what "we" want. Because I believe that he wants what is best for us. So, if you hear me complaining about my job again....which I am sure I will do.....remind me of the Blessing from God that I have been given...my job...so I can spend time with the best blessings ever-My Family!