What to Do....

I have been debating back and forth about whether or not to blog about this desicion that James and I are facing...but writing is a release for me...and today, I feel down about it...so here goes...maybe at the end of all my rambling...I will feel a little better....I do realize that in the light of the world's economy, the Swine flu outbreak, and all of the other horrible things going on in our world today, my little problem may seem trivial...But I do know, that no matter how small it is-God is listening....and He will be there for me...and help me to do the right thing...as long as I hand this ALL over to Him...which is what I have been trying to do...Sometimes, it is hard to completely give it over to Him...but I am working on it...


Well, here goes...As many of you know, Macey and I will be going to NYC this summer for 6 weeks...We are super excited about this opportunity...and this desicion has not been made lightly....A year ago in February, Macey auditioned for AMTC(Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ) and did really well....She ended up going to Orlando, Florida for a week last summer and recieved 3 callbacks...2 from NYC, and 1 from LA....So, to make a long story short...We visited NYC last October and Macey interviewed with 2 different agents, and they want her to come live in the city this summer for 6 weeks...

So...this is where the story gets a little more complicated.....I have a job...part time....night shift...that I DO like...It works for me and the family....I am a registered nurse in a call center....I have been speaking with my manager back and forth for a few months now via email(because I am a night shift girl) concerning our upcoming trip to NY....I asked to change my position status...I am part time now, and wanted to change to PRN (which simply means "as needed"-no set hours, and you get to pick when you can or can't work-perfect for my situation) First, I was told there was no PRN positions yet, but should be soon (last November), then I was advised maybe I should apply for a leave of absence...then yet again...no, why don't you drop to PRN status? ....and now...where I am now..."We can't grant your leave of absence NOR can we let you drop to PRN..." Seriously? Four weeks before I am supposed to go? I have been seriously bummed out about this one....I mean, James and I have prayed and prayed concerning Macey's trip...and one door after another, after another have been opened....I believe that God has this in Macey's life for a reason...and I trust Him in this....But now we are facing this setback....If I choose to go with her, (which is my plan) I will have to quit my job....Hmmm....I really have been burdened by this one...Many of my close friends are praying for us as we try to decide what to do....I think I know the answer, but sometimes going through that door of uncertainty is so scary...but I know all He wants is for to trust in Him....

This morning, I went walking at the park, and listened to some praise music on my ipod....and then I went down to the lake to pray...something that I have not done before....I told you, I am serious about getting God's guidance on this life of mine....=) and this was the song that was playing as I began to pray..... Take It All, by Third Day....

one of my favorite songs....but the words were from Him...my Heavenly Father...

"All the roads that lie before me, All the struggles I go through....Every second I'm reminded, that it all belongs to You....Now I'm ready, to let it go, to give it away....Take it All, because I can't take it any longer...All I have, I can't make it on my own...Take the first, take the last, take the good and take the rest....Here I am, all I have, take it all...."

I am trying to do the right thing...just pray for me as we try to follow God's will for our lives....He is good....All the time....